Last thoughts on the past weeks Christmas festivities

Posted:27 December 2011

Before we welcome in the New Year (and we’re so looking forward to it, we’ve so much going on!) a final view on Christmas from all of us here – the words of  Pam Ayres, as ever, amusing, dry and so so right…

Goodwill To Men Give Us Your Money by Pam Ayres

It was Christmas Eve on a Friday

The shops was full of cheer,

With tinsel in the windows,

And presents twice as dear.

A thousand Father Christmases,

Sat in their little huts,

And folk was buying crackers

And folk was buying nuts.

All up and down the country,

Before the light was snuffed,

Turkeys they get murdered,

And cockerels they got stuffed,

Christmas cakes got marzipanned,

And puddins they got steamed

Mothers they got desperate

And tired kiddies screamed.

Hundredweights of Christmas cards,

Went flying through the post,

With first class postage stamps on those,

You had to flatter most.

Within a million kitchens,

Mince pies was being made,

On everyones radio,

“White Christmas”, it was played.

Out in the frozen countryside

Men crept round on their own,

Hacking off the holly,

What other folks had grown,

Mistletoe on willow trees,

Was by a man wrenched clear,

So he could kiss his neighbours wife,

Hed fancied all the year.

And out upon the hillside,

Where the Christmas trees had stood,

All was completely barren,

But for little stumps of wood,

The little trees that flourished

All the year were there no more,

But in a million houses,

Dropped their needles on the floor.

And out of every cranny, cupboard,

Hiding place and nook,

Little bikes and kiddies trikes,

Were secretively took,

Yards of wrapping paper,

Was rustled round about,

And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms,

With the pedals sticking out.

Rolled up in Christmas paper

The Action Men were tensed,

All ready for the morning,

When their fighting life commenced,

With tommy guns and daggers,

All clustered round about,

“Peace on Earth Goodwill to Men”

The figures seemed to shout.

The church was standing empty,

The pub was standing packed,

There came a yell, “Noel, Noel!”

And glasses they got cracked.

From up above the fireplace,

Christmas cards began to fall,

And trodden on the floor, said:

“Merry Christmas, to you all.”